Simply Oloni . . .

The #friendzone

2012-01-04T12:56:00.000-08:00

For the last couple of months one of the most seen hashtags on my Twitter timeline has been ‘#FriendZone’. This is a zone A LOT of people do not know even exist. They say guys and girls can’t be friends, but doesn't the #friendzone prove otherwise?

In a nutshell the friend zone means there is absolutely no chance of two people being anymore than JUST FRIENDS a platonic relationship which will never lead to anything else. You’re like his ‘sister’ (ouch) -He’s the person you turn to when advice is needed. So many people had their own meaning behind what it meant to be in this infamous zone, but I turned to urban dictionary for their very own definitions, plus I found them funny.

'What is quite possibly one of the worst places a guy could ever be in if you like someone. It doesn't matter the situation, once you're in, you feel like you're in a cage.’

‘ 2% chance of sex and you need to both be absolutely hammered’

I asked friends what their term of the friend zone meant to them, most gave the same answer ‘You’re not ever going to beat’ whilst others said the following:

‘They rather have you as a friend because, they’ll never see you as anything more’-Tolani, 20.

‘To me it means (in most cases) the guy likes the girl, but the girl doesn’t feel the same, so to ease the blow she uses the #friendzone category. I do know loads of guys who have gully creep their way out’-Kemi, 19

The last quote made me ponder, can guy’s actually put a girl in the #friendzone? Realistically speaking I can only imagine if a girl put a move on her male friend, chances are he wouldn’t turn her down.

‘He can put her in the friend zone after they’ve finished fucking’- @_MrsBoss:

Isn’t the friend zone supposed to mean nothing will EVER happen?

“If you ask her to go cinema and she replies yeah "Who else is coming?"-#friendzone-@Joel_JF

"If she calls u at 3am.. To ask about homework" #friendzone LOL-@dontbedigginme

A conversation with my friend lead me to believe that guys who are in such zones are the ‘nice guys’, who women are really supposed to be with. Really?

Girl: 'Where are all the good guys these days?' Guy: 'They're in the friend zone where you left them.'

Wait, just because you’re in the friend zone isn’t to say you’re meant to be together, time can only tell. All this ‘good guys finish last’ mumbojumbo is just utter bullshit.

I knew a couple who were good friends for years and told the entire world they were nothing more. Months down the line, the guy who was in her #friendzone became her boyfriend and they’ve been together for over 2 years. Everyone is just different I guess.

The friend zone seems to look like a bad thing and you’re probably wondering how do you remove such a hex, but why would you want to? It’s often said that the best relationships start of as just friends, so why not just take advantage of it? Well unless you're just trying to screw, then you're just fucked.

Merry Christmas !

2011-12-25T15:43:00.000-08:00

Today consisted of. .

Church

Sleep

More sleep. .

Aunties cooking (Me watching as aunties cook)

EATING

Opening pressies with cousins

EATING SOME MORE. .

DRINKING. .

DRUNK PINGING EVERYONE MERRY CHRISTMAS. .

MORE EATING AND DRINKING. .

lol sobering up and laughing at my drunk uncles.

I didn't get anything spectacular this year, just being with my family brought a smile to my face.

A photo of me and my friends dressed up before we broke up at uni. Our last uni rave of the year ACS 'I'm Dreaming Of a black Christmas'

Hip Hop Karaoke

2011-12-21T13:36:00.000-08:00

What's better than rapping along to the lyrics of your favourite rapper EVERY Thursday night FOR FREE?

My favourite spot in Central London ! Hip Hop Karaoke.

With such an energetic crowd, full of such great vibes, do you blame me for being so addicted?

From Biggie, to Lupe to 50 and the great Jay, The Social has had my heat for over the last 6 months. Different and some same faces in one place to get low to Hip hop.

Hey I even performed once drunk outta my mind with my girl Sandra a couple months back.

What was even better? I got to meet the GREAT Nikki Jean !! Yes she came to London this Summer and I just had ask her to come to HHK & guess what she did!. . She even performed too. .

check it out. .

I'm still alive just been....

2011-12-02T11:33:00.000-08:00

I'm alive, but forgot my love. Myself. What has kept me away from Simply Me? This

Hip hop Karaoke, being the new African and Caribbean president at my University & the men in my life, the pretty women I love, but just a new environment.

Second year in University and I'm already shattered, how dare I not blog? Nothing should keep me away from what I love to do. You noticed my new tattoo?

'Still I rise'-Inspired by Maya Angelou's poem. Still I rise.

rise

rise

rise. . rise from it all.

I have another Twitter page, @TheCarrieDiary this is where i tend to let my 'feelings' out. However @Oloni is still my number one Twitter account. I'm just extra.

I need to get back to my original state, this time last year I wrote for 3 blogs, but it's slowly stopping. This ends. I've been so MIA. Procrastination is a bitch *insert wordplay here*

Writers

2011-09-07T13:29:00.000-07:00

'Never date a writer... She’ll write about things you have done to her or things you never did for her." Alex Stephens'

Facebook stalking

2011-09-06T08:48:00.000-07:00

Is it me or has Facebook lost it's purpose? Why are there so many setting's if everything has a right to prevent ME a person already on your friends list from seeing what party you were getting wasted at last night?

If I can’t stalk your shit, what’s the point? Who on God’s green earth suggested to Mark Zuckerberg it was okay to disable settings to certain people? I thought the whole point of ‘The Social Network’ film was to be all up in peoples business. No?

I remember the good days when you didn’t have to call people to ask how there day was because they were already tagged to a photo and you could see the whole album to know.

Facebook are even allowing us to hide our friends list, so unless you and I have mutual friends you can’t see see the gazillion friends I have, thus giving us Facebook stalkers a hard time to see who knows who.

Another option the popular social network site have allowed, is the option to remove wall posts. For example. If Mike Johnson wrote on Stacey Green’s wall, it would show up on his page news feed, but he also has the option to remove it, not allowing anyone to see his latest activity. Bullshit right? I know.

Facebook has honestly just lost it’s fun, I’m taking my ass to Twitter and staying there, there is no such thing as privacy. Whatever I say can’t be hidden, if you want privacy, don’t join a social network ! It defeats the purpose.

What would Carrie do in this time of sickness?

2011-09-06T07:40:00.000-07:00

In bed full of 3 day old tissues, wondering how the fuck I got sick like this. One minute I was getting drunk and partying my life away like a healthy 21 year old, next I'm curved up in bed announcing on my Blackberry status, that I am in fact going to die, if a bowl of soup is not brought to my rescue this moment.

I tweeted earlier 'What would Carrie do?' Not to my surprise I got a reply saying 'Call Big'(To non die hard Sex and the City fans, Big was Carrie's on and off boyfriend for 10 years)

Made me think, do all women have a Big in their life?

Sorry, I don’t date black men. . .re-cap

2011-08-31T13:35:00.000-07:00

An old post from last year January came to my attention called 'Sorry, I don't date black men'. This post simply spoke about the problems in today's society about black men dating outside their race. Now not to bash black men at ALL because as a young black woman, all I've ever adored and dated was BLACK MEN, but it's just finding the right one that seems to be a headache for all black girls.

Here were the comments, written on the post a while back.

'My reason for not dating black men is because of how I've always been treated by them! I'm not trying to put white mean on a pedalstool, but wheras a white man will hold a door open for me, a black man see's me but still lets it go on me so hard he might as well slam it in my face! I've generally been treated bad by them, even in my own family, and I've seen too many friends end up hurt, and as single mothers, even when they're innocent. So it's not always things like 'asking out etiquette' thats gives some of us ladies blackmanaphobic! They always use the same kind of excuses like we're loud, fat, hair weave etc, but I'm the complete opposite of all that, but we all know they're excuses only. Black men give me evil looks all the time, and the comments I hear them talking put me off too...usually awful language about black women. The ones I come across seem to have a deep hatred to us, even the younger ones. I'm 29 and have never dated a black man. I would have done a time ago, but it's clear to me that they aint interested! They don't even acknowledge us to find out whether we're attractive and with a nice personality etc. Our skin is black and so that's it, they're not interested. They prefer white girls or at the best mixed-race girls so I leave them be. At one point I always secretly hoped that I'd have my own full black family one day, but that hasn't materialised and never will now obviously. And sorry, but I blame that on black men, who didn't even want to be within a certain radius of me, simply for being a black female, and not to be big-headed, but I'm usually considered fairly attractive and smell nice, honest! I won't complain though, I have two beautiful children by my husband who I love to bits even if we're not the full black family I imagined when growing up. Anyway, better stop the essay now!'-

-Anonymous

Here was the second comment.

'I have simply given up on the black man. Not all black men are useless, but most of them are, especially the older ones (40+). They have issues with marrying a good woman, but have no issues with having sex outside of marriage. They don't marry because they are never satisfied with what they have--they are always looking for what they think is "better"; therefore, marriage to a woman gets in the way. They make excuses for not being in a relationship at all--children, parents, school, changing jobs etc. I have often wondered why they can't do those things and have a relationship with a good woman. They have no concept of "partnership". The cliche', "two incomes are better than one" means nothing to them. You see, to have a good woman partner with them in a mutually loving relationship requires commitment, communication, and love. They can't do it because, again, they are never satisfied. I have a plaque that says "happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have." When a small problem or issue evolves, they ignore it (which means they ignore you)or they try to turn in around on you which ultimately leads to frustration on the woman's part because we are thinking "how did it get to this?" They do just the minimum once they get you. They do not handle conflict in a mature, responsible manner; instead, they run away from issues. It doesn't mean these are "bad" men; they are just sorry men who don't take the time to learn how to treat a black woman and how to love. They are crazy about their daughters, but they will treat a good woman like she is nothing. They love the pretentious woman or the woman who doesn't mind the fact that he is seeing someone. They just simply can't appreciate a good, faithful, submissive woman. I am a good black woman and I have only dated black men--this is how I know.'

-Anonymous.

Both comments very different, but instead of writing my opinion, I truly want to know what black men think about this. Why are their more single mothers, instead of happily married women? Are black men also more interested in dating outside their own race and why?

Beyonce announces pregnancy @the VMA's

2011-08-28T17:41:00.000-07:00

Just in time to watch the beginning of the VMA's and I spotted Beyonce, was wearing a dress which looked like a maternity dress for an award show. Till she said the words 'I have an annoucement' then she grabbed her tummy and showed off her beautiful baby bump.

My LOVE for COSMO

2011-08-28T15:42:00.000-07:00

"When I first moved to Luton and I was totally broke, sometimes I would buy Cosmopolitans instead of dinner. I just felt it fed me more."

If I could express the love I had for Cosmo, We'd be here forever. However there are times where I've sat and just thought 'I'm going to have a column in here one day'.

No matter how bigger and better blogs become within today's society I'll always be that girl curled up in bed re-reading old issues of Cosmo, with a kinder bueno chocolate beside me before bed.

Louise Court better watch out for me.

10 Things I Want To Say To A Black Woman by Joshua Bennett

2011-08-21T20:25:00.000-07:00

I posted this a while back, but sadly the video got removed. Luckily I found a better version. Enjoy this heart felt spoken word, of beautiful touching poetry. .

Are You a Masochist?

2011-08-21T12:11:00.000-07:00

Why do we allow those we love or care for, to continuously hurt us? Are we there waiting for change? Or some sort of Masochist?

Masochist: definition:

1-The tendency to find pleasure in self-denial, submissiveness, etc.

2-Gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc.,inflicted or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one'sown actions or the actions of others, especially the tendency to seek this form of gratification.

Within any type of relationship, whether it be family, friends or the most common a LOVE interest, we often find ourselves hurting from something we can simply walk away from.

When it comes to relationships do you look for excuses as to why they behave a certain way, so instead try to stick around, because you ‘understand’ ? That doesn’t sound healthy now, does it? Although I write about love, relationships, sex and lifestyle, I’ve never actually written about hurt, due to the reason I try to avoid writing about the obvious ‘If he mistreats you, leave’. It should really be common sense, but then common sense was never common and shit is easier said than done.

It’s almost like self harm, but not physically only emotionally, self inflicted pain and resuming to it, when it can be easily stopped, or can it? Can being a masochist within a relationship be a sign of weakness, blindness or even insecurity?

As a writer, it’s very hard for me to not contradict what it is I talk about about in articles. E.g. Settling for less, knowing your worth, not being that crazy ex-girlfriend etc. If you ever do find yourself in this position and question it, you might find yourself being a possible masochist, allowing someone to devalue what your worth means losing your respect, though you’ve be burnt several times. Who runs back into a burning house?

University for Freshers in Septenber

2011-08-18T07:04:00.000-07:00

September is near and you’ve probably been counting down the days till you move out so the uni life can begin. Student loan applications should be processing to help finance your year, or wardrobe amongst other things.

Student loan is one of the greatest things that could ever have happen to any undergraduate student. First off there’s a whole heap of money in your account which leaves imaginary dollar signs in your eyes, but before you do go crazy bare in mind all the ‘necessities’ you have to pay for, this includes rent, internet and other things any other student would have to finance like books, travel and take aways. Even if you are the next Jamie Oliver, chances are one way or another money will be spent on dodgy kebabs or the new Chinese spot around the corner.

If you are living away from home, then this is where the freedom starts. Your mum will not be there to cook, wash your clothes or even nag you about what time you’ll be getting in by. Responsibility begins, especially because you’re living on your own, so bring on the drinking and endless house parties, just remember the deposit your landlord still has a hold off, before you totally destroy and trash the house you’ll be living in.

Having house mates can be either exciting or scary due to the fact you’re all strangers and know absolutely nothing about each other. Here are 3 top tips for when you’re moving in with new people.

1. Do not be anti-social. If you’re going to isolate yourself from people especially new house mates who are in the exact same position as you, you might as well have stayed in your mum and dads house. Your first year of uni is VERY important, not academically but this is the year where you make friends and enjoy what university has to offer, and what’s better than getting to know the people you live with?

2. Do not even think about drinking the last bit of milk.........which you didn’t buy. Everybody loves to have their items and belongings respected and there is nothing more annoying than people eating your last Iceland pepperoni pizza or ready made lasagna and chips, even if you are going to replace it. This just starts unwanted arguments.

Louise shared a kitchen with 5 other house mates and got annoyed as her ketchup in the fridge kept evaporating. This was a new bottle she hadn’t opened. The same went for her butter, till she got fed up and left a not so polite message on the fridge and cupboards in the house reading......

3. Being aware- Being aware means being aware that you do not live on your own and other people do in fact live in the same house as you. So if you do go out Friday night, avoid coming back at 4am in the morning and blasting Kanye Wests and Jay-Z’s new album.

With the great social life at university comes what you’re actually at university for, a degree. Although independent learning can seem different it really isn’t. Lecturers and tutors are there for you, so if you need help with anything, nag the hell out of them, they get paid enough for it.

University is what you make out of it, these are the only 3 years of your life, where being poor is acceptable, not remembering the antics from last night is normal, sleeping in lectures will also be a regular thing, if not second nature. Just remember you worked hard to get where you are and in a couple of years you’re going to have to pay for it too and with the government increasing tuition fees, making every bit count is even more essential.

The great thing about starting university is starting of fresh, new faces, new names but even better- a new you.

I am not my hair.

2011-08-17T13:20:00.000-07:00

It never actually occurred to me, that my hair is always weaved up I rarely let my REAL natural hair breathe. I've never been insecure about my natural hair, but always just always felt empty without Beyonce and Tyra on my head lol.

I tweeted some time ago saying:

'I finally understand these natural hair bitches, the greatest thing about rocking your natural hair is the fact that its YOURS!'

Here's a photo of me sporting my natural hair right before my birthday. . .

OFFICIALLY 21

2011-08-08T05:57:00.001-07:00

MADDEST NIGHT EVER.

After shots of wray and nephews, glasses of rose and droppin it like it was hot. . it was safe to say I had a great night with the people I love most.

I did throw up and end up on the floor a few times. . .but hey you don't turn 21 everyday.

OLONI'S 21ST BIRTHDAY

2011-08-05T12:58:00.000-07:00

Only a couple of hours now till my 21st . . although I've been busy with school and side project I've been promoting my birthday celebration tomorrow night @ Carbon. .

Wow feels like it was only a couple days ago I was blogging about my 18th birthday. . Time is precious steal as much as you can.

Love Oloni

Jhene Aiko - Higher

2011-07-12T17:04:00.000-07:00

. . She sounds's like a talented version of Cassie. This has had mad pull ups by me. . perfect when you're smokin that. . .

All Women Are Crazy- (Types of Crazy Women)

2011-07-12T16:36:00.000-07:00

A conversation with a group of friends lead me to believe that men know, yes they know. The one thing we’ve been trying to keep a secret for many centuries, but they’re finally aware that ALL women are crazy. If you’re a female and you’re reading this you’re probably thinking: ‘Oh no I’m very secure I have no reason to be crazy’. You’re wrong. Me, writing this post is crazy. So you see my point already.

I believe there are all sorts of types of crazies within women, some higher than others, whereas some are down right unacceptable. There are also different groups of crazies women may fall under.

The Crazy Ex’s

These are the women who are at the top of the crazy list. The refresh your mans facebook page every 30 seconds kind of loony, though you broke up months ago. Some say she probably misses you and cares, but knowing what your ex is up to will not bring him back, so why is it done?

The type that will leave excessive missed calls on his phone- After you’ve told him to got to hell.
Crazy ex’s can be really scary because you never know what a woman is fully capable of doing till you break up with her. How will she handle it? Will she be sad for a period of time, but move on? Or have montages of the relationship run through her head, as that builds up what could possibly be scary shit.

If you do ever get into a relationship, understand THIS. if you do break up, you will be associated with her. So to avoid this mess and simply know what you’re getting into.

Crazy Baby Mamas

Some baby mothers can be the queen of mad women- although I have no sympathy for men who are in this situation. Handle your shit. No really, you knew what you were getting into when you stuck your penis in her cooch. Does her insane behaviour get dismissed nonetheless? No and it shouldn’t.

I had a friend who was seeing a guy with baby mama issues. Bianca went to Kevins for a night of movies and Blossom Hill wine. Till his flat bell was being buzzed repeatedly at 11.30.pm As Bianca sat in the living room patiently waiting, whilst Kevin went downstairs to see who was the door, she couldn’t help but hear the yelling of a very bitter past. Yes, the mother of Kevins 2 year old daughter. Charlene, a woman who intruded on what could have been a great night. After 45 minutes of arguing with his baby mother, he came back upstairs to a not so happy date.

Kevin explained to Bianca that this weren’t the first time she’d show her face when it had nothing to do with their child. What was more scary was the tear that strolled down his face. He was crying because he couldn’t stand her anymore. Yes, that’s right we also make men cry. See NUTS right?! Bianca never called Kevin again.

Crazy Girlfriend

Crazy girlfriends, you girls just make me mad. If you’re in a relationship and you’re not secure as to what you’re in, why the hell are you with him? I’m not saying you should be naive towards the relationship, but if you have to question a situation be real with yourself instead of turning into Sherlock. I know a few girls who have gone through their boyfriends phone and called up girls with the line ‘Why are you calling my man?’ line.

Crazy Hoes on the Side

Crazy hoes on the side are chicks, who know who their in a sexual relationship with a dude who already has a girlfriend, but still insist on sticking around. In her head she thinks the relationship wont last and he’ll come running to her with open arms, but wait, if he’s already cheating on her what makes you think, he’s not with other women? Unless his dick is made out of gold, I can’t understand why you’d put yourself in that position.

Women who are in this category also tick the boxes of other examples given previously, which makes them even more insane.

Admittedly, I know not all women are crazy in these senses, but these were just the popular ones I chose to write about. The majority of us have different ways of showing how insane we can be, sometimes we aren’t even aware when we’re doing something that isn’t normal.

Sometimes I wish I could understand the reason as to why we carry habits of this nature, maybe it’s to feel sheltered from future pain and not being able to censor it. I could be here forever looking for reasons for the mindless things we as women do but like I previously said, there are boundaries. It’s understanding when it’s acceptable to go out of your shell and who’s worth being crazy about, not everyone deserves time or effort you put in, so why do it when it’s not worth it? Now that’s crazy.

The Weekend - What You Need

2011-06-29T14:33:00.000-07:00

Oloni's Room

2011-06-29T14:32:00.001-07:00

No don’t worry I don’t have my own version of the song by rapper Drake. . . yet. Instead I’m going to write about my problem with the song. Although I love the concept of the piece I have to admit it, but it’s a deep song, especially for anyone who’s been in such position.

The lyrics within the song got to me-I’m sure we’ve all been in that drunk state, the one drink away stage before drunk calling or texting that one person. We all have that ONE person either involved or not, that gets a phone call of sober thoughts.

The song is about Drake calling a girl and informing her on how she ‘could do better’. The girl on the opposite end of the phone is obviously in a happy relationship, but Aubrey Drake Graham takes it upon himself to remind her about the ‘times’ they had. Other than Drake sounding salty over her moving on, the situation perplexes me.

I have a theory that he probably wasn’t ready to commit so, like any good woman should, she kept it moving. Like most situations you don’t truly appreciate what you’ve got until it’s gone.

‘I said fuck that nigga that you think you’ve found'-But why? Surely you had your chance, so what’s wrong if she finds someone new? It’s like a lose lose situation.

Often we tell ourselves that moving on is best, but does intoxicated closure make things different?

'The woman that I would try
Is happy with a good guy
But I’ve been drinking so much
That I’ma call her anyway'

Drake ~ Marvins Room (Official Video) from OctobersVeryOwn on Vimeo.

#CurrentlyReading: LAID

2011-06-29T14:18:00.000-07:00

A book that I'd advise every girl to read-I'm still half way of reading this book by Shannon Boodram but so far each story within each chapter makes me think: 'I'm not the only one'

The book shares sexual experiences from losing your virginity to just different sexual experiences and relationships. Interesting, yet makes you re-think your sexual life whether sexual active or not.

I'd like to give a proper review, so before I get into it COP it ! Amazon.com is your best friend. .

SADE

2011-06-09T09:06:00.000-07:00

Words can't describe this day. .

I had clueless new fans try and shut me up every time I screamed out songs i wanted her to sing lol.

Sade nearly had me in tears. .

Enough said.

Smoking Kills

2011-05-28T16:55:00.000-07:00

I promised I'd give up,

Since all you do is kill me inside and perplex my mind,
The 5 minutes I have you to myself are the same 5 minutes I'm wasting time,

taking time, not realising you're infact my problem,
I inhale your shit, whilst exhaling force fed lies.

I wish I never smoked you,

the nicotine smell on my acrylic black nails,

leave a reminder of what I did when I placed you on my soft lips.

I wish I never thought about you and made excuses as to why I smoked you,

needed to smoke you, felt the need to have you placed inbetween my fingers.

Smoking kills but the knife you took to the pits of my stomach hurt more,

at least with cigarettes,smoke,drink,sex and more alcohol,

things would be okay the next day.

With you not there it opened my eyes,

that you were the one all along killing me inside,

Slowly I inhale your shit, whilst exhaling force fed lies.

Smoking kills yes everybody knows so why the fuck did I light you for?

Inspiration

2011-05-24T11:25:00.001-07:00

Something new?

2011-05-21T07:15:00.000-07:00

I was getting tired of my jet black hair, so decided to try a new colour. The irony is I've never dyed my hair before so was absolutely scared of the outcome. I call myself a pussy when it comes to hair, I'm literally scared to try something new in case it looks terrible.

New Tattoo

2011-05-13T12:21:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to get this tattoo for quite some time and you're probably sat there wondering 'Why HIP-HOP ?'. . in a simple nutshell I'll just quote the tweet I wrote when someone questioned it.

'If you love something that's inspired you and set you on a path, why not? My love for hip hop isn't ordinary #noSadeOrBudden'

Anyone who knows me understands my first love is HIP HOP. I fell in love with her when I was 15. It's more than a music genre to me. . it's part of my identity.

'I met this girl, when I was 10 years old
And what I loved most, she had so much soul'-Common

Photoshoot

2011-05-06T07:21:00.000-07:00

A while back, I had a photoshoot. I've always wanted one, but kept putting the idea off till I knew exactly what theme I wanted to go with. . . so looked to Carrie Bradshaw. .

What do you think?

Dreamville

2011-05-05T11:47:00.001-07:00

If J.cole doesn't put these shirts for sale soon, I will make my own boot leg version.

Meet Childish Gambino

2011-04-25T12:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my friend Kevin showed me this artist called Childish Gambino. Theres something about this dude that I just LOVE. His flow to his witty punchlines and the way he goes off topic but comes right back again.

He's not your average rapper, infact I heard he raps as a hobby. He's probably the dude at the back of your class that was always quiet or 'different'. I learnt he's also one of the writers for the hit show 30 Rock, which adds more cool points since that means he's affiliated with the great Tina Fey.

I honestly think his type of music is something everyone would listen to, its different and what music needs right now.

Check him out

I dare you to tell me he's not dope.

Casual Sex

2011-04-09T08:43:00.000-07:00

Who doesn’t like sex? The majority. The hair pulling, sweating, eyes rolling, heavy breathing, lip biting, toe curling, hard and slow penetration, enjoyable climax; I could go on forever with adjectives we’ve all experienced during sex, but it would get boring, or would it?

I’ve always said men and women are different especially in today’s society, it seems as if both genders are looking for the opposite thing. Not everyone wants to be in a relationship, which is fine but it seems like sex is now losing it’s worth. General conversation with friends have lead me to think that some men rather have their cake and eat it, whilst some women think he’ll be back to eat more and eventually stay. It’s like exchanging your cooch for something that isn’t going to happen, repeatedly done and it turns into casual sex.

Understandably, there are some women who are all for casual sex, we’ve all probably been there, but what usually happens? The female who thought her emotions weren’t really hidden in her vagina suddenly catches feelings for this guy. Either that or she realises what she wants more, a relationship with strings attached. I once tweeted some time ago. . .

‘People make out like wanting to find love is thirsty. No nigga you tryna beat any ol' chick is thirsty as fuck, you dumb fuck.’

140 characters on Twitter couldn’t express how I felt at that time although it did somewhat exclaim what I felt . .

What happened to casual dating? Casual getting-to-know-each-other? I personally feel like there is so much to look forward to before allowing any ol’ dick inside of you. Aren’t the innocence in relationships the best? The talking, sharing, experiencing, laughing etc. it’s as if society has become so impatient.

Someone once told me that kissing didn’t ‘do’ anything for them and others to my amazement agreed. As dumbfounded as I was, I thought to myself, if the smallest intimacy isn’t being considered as much any more, what will sex itself be like in years to come?

HOW TO TREAT A SUPA-WOMAN!

2011-04-04T07:16:00.000-07:00

Mama Oloni . . Mothers day post.

2011-04-02T18:13:00.000-07:00

I wish days like this could be a permanent thing, Mothers day. A day where you get to spoil your mum and show her how much you adore her, whilst seeing the biggest smile graze onto her face, when she sees what's in that colorful gift wrap. What beats that?

I’ve always been a rebel with my mum due to the fact were like opposites, I’ve always believed she never understood me, due to the fact she was raising a child in a different generation with a culture I was blind to, but as I grew older i valued everything she taught.

I used to make posts called ‘WWW’ (World Wide Woman) Women who inspire me. My mother is probably the biggest inspiration in my life, the things I’ve seen her achieve are true living testimony's. When you witness such greatness it gives hope. My mum gives me hope, I believe my drive and ambition comes from her, I can honestly say I inherited that attribute from her lol. She’s wise, smart, loving, caring, beautiful, encouraging, one in a billion. . their aren't really enough words within the oxford dictionary to describe my mother, so today I will spoil her with nothing but LOVE.

Toast to the douche bags

2011-03-21T19:23:00.001-07:00

Ricky Gervais

Dr. Cox from Scrubs

Jerry Lagvine Jr.

Douche bags, assholes, insensitive bastards call them what you will, either way these type of guys gain some sort of attraction to me. Am I crazy? Probably. Due to my weird sense of humour and sarcasm traits, these type of men always grab my attention, when watching shows. You might be able to familiarise yourself with some of the men in the pictures posted above, each famous for their asshole-like behaviour but for being a popular and great jerks.

I guess its okay if you adore these people as characters, but if you find yourself actually falling for their type in real life, is it safe to say women like dicks, so are more drawn to the ones who have the behaviour like one? And if so why?

My Love: A Unique Collection of Love Poetry

2011-03-12T10:45:00.001-08:00

A friend asked me to write a review for his new anthology he released, normally I never cover literature, but chose to do this. I was going to put in on Simply Oloni, but thought it deserved more press so click here to read more about it

Don't Chase Women.

2011-03-11T21:09:00.000-08:00

My new favourite asshole.

Where is Mr Right?

2011-03-11T20:57:00.001-08:00

I’d like to think I’m at that age where Mr. Right should give me a clue as to where he is. Being a 20 years old single girl has its perks- Sctratch that being single has it’s perks. But I’ve realised that one day my youth will go and I fear I could be alone. I know I have all the time in the world so to refrain from sounding OTT, I’m bored of the casual sex, the flirting, the meaningless texts, the date you’ve tried to put off for so long, but give in because you’ve convinced yourself it might go okay. The weird stage in a relationship where you just never speak anymore. It’s washed up, instead I look at other relationships and try to paint a picture of that.

I’ve always been told I’m that ambitious type ‘Oloni knows what she wants type’ I believe everyone should be, you and I both should be. There’s nothing more than I want but to be that next editor of Cosmo. Is my determination a turn off? Sometimes I find when I meet guys they’re not as driven as I am, at this age if hes not as equally driven as you, what are you pushing or encouraging 5 years down the line? At the same time what if Mr. Right doesn’t approach me due other things on my mind, I want love, but do I honestly have time for it? Love can hold people back, being in love once made me make the dumbest decisions, decisions i vowed to never make again.

I was tweeting one day and someone asked about the ‘type of guy’ i go for. I always fail to answer this question unless its physically, this is due to the fact, that guys who ask are ones who probably have an interest, and will TRY to mold into what you like personality wise. I don’t even know if Mr Right in my head is probably right for me. Who knows I could end up with someone who has no dreams but I inspire and help make something out of him. You just never know.

So many things to do

2011-03-09T16:06:00.001-08:00

Between wearing make up for no reason and school I have been on my lil Oloni grind and coming up with new ideas and new plans, I'd like to invest my time into. I've realised these past couple of years it has been Oloni jumping on different sort of 'waves' and I'm grateful for every bit of it, but I think its come to that point where I can say. . I have all the experience and knowledge, even guidance to do what I freakin want. . and so I will stay tuned. Better yet, follow me @Oloni

Does Friends with Benefits Work?

2011-02-28T20:03:00.000-08:00

Lupe Fiasco- All Black Everything

2011-02-24T19:58:00.000-08:00

LASERS MARCH 8th . . make sure you get it, love Hip-Hop

LFW A/W2011

2011-02-24T08:10:00.002-08:00

Guess who was London Fashion Week :)

MAC

2011-02-18T20:22:00.000-08:00

I've become a fiend. Once you go MAC, you wont go back. . ever

'Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are'

2011-02-18T13:21:00.000-08:00

A conversation earlier lead me to ask a question are your friends true reflections of yourself? If your friend has a reputation for being promiscuous do you instantly become a product of that too?

Every girl has a story and with a story narrates her life. What if you have the chance to play a role, even if you're the total opposite? Or do you create a distance, a space to let others see you're not the same?

They say 'Birds of a feather flock together' A saying, which means those of the same characteristics and interest mix more and stick to their own kind. If everyone is different could it be classed as ignorant for people to live by this quote?

Yes, friends you find yourself around mostly might have a lot in common with you, but there are things that separate the two. An example could be the fiction show Sex and The City, a programme that stars four women, who are very close with one character who can be seen to be quite sexually liberated. Although the rest are not the same and aren't as sexually active as her, they still live different lives.

Saying this another conversation lead me to believe that when you do surround yourself with the same company, even if you carry different values, thoughts of your friends soon become influential and more ‘understanding’ some might say ‘tolerant’, but if you carry a different value, why should you be tolerant? Sooner or later you might even think its acceptable.

You’re probably thinking ‘nope not me, I’m not easily influenced’, but if were all products of an environment, you’re bound to be a product of this impact if not the the good but for the worst.

‘Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are’ a saying that has been around for years, which simply means you choose to be friends with people who you believe are like yourself. People of the same similarities are associates, football players, musicians etc etc. even if they are not completely the same, there is something they share in common with each other.

So how is this different from that promiscuous friend you have, who doesn't seek the same level of water as you ? When we sub consciously associate ourselves with those on the same wavelength as us. Could their other characteristics hold use in your life? Even if so, who wants to be known as being BFF’s with Jezebel, when such affiliation can tarnish your image? You’d never catch Lauryn Hill and Paris Hilton doing lunch due to both different status’ and very different mentalities and background’s.

Sometimes moving with the wrong people hinders the way you’re portrayed, there’s an instant judgement that has been made about you, a perception that you can’t re-define unless you re-define yourself.

Nandos give me my chicken

2011-02-16T12:47:00.000-08:00

Mayda Del Valle "Elemental"

2011-02-16T12:19:00.000-08:00

Where the fuck are my BEATS BY DRE HEADPHONES!!. . .

2011-02-16T05:15:00.000-08:00

If you read my blog, you'll know i've always wanted a pair of Beats by Dre headphones. Over two weeks ago I finally tried to purchase them, the purple JustBeats, of course. I looked on the Monster website, which were being sold for £170 including next day delivery. Days went pass, then weeks went pass, that's when I thought, WTF???? Where are my damn BEATS BY DRE HEADPHONES. So I decided to bug beats by dre via Facebook and Twitter, to which they were being very helpful, my patience started going so I decided to write a mean letter to the company requesting a reimbursmant.

The next day I went to my bank and found out that infact, money was not taken out of my account on the day, I could have sworn to purchase the highly anticipated head phones. I caught my breath and thought to myself. . 'Only Oloni' SMH.

A few days later, I saw they were being sold on HMV for £150 that's when I meditated, okay God did this on purpose due to this deal. So I bought the HMV ones online, only to get an e-mail on by BlackBerry from them saying my payment had been declined. I get up thinking, WTF???? AGAIN,cus I know I have over enough mone for JustBeat Headphones I called up the HMV company, after being left on the phone for over 15 minutes. The soft spoken lady said that due to the fact my visa card is registered with my house in London but wanted it sent to my campus university house in Luton, they declined it. -___________- this is where I couldn't even be asked to argue as I normally would, so said 'Thanks' and 'Goodbye'.

I'm not even mad I just really wanted them for a photoshoot, then prbably would have tried to sell them on e-bay, like I said, I'm still waiting for someone else to buy me them. I'm also guessing everything happes for a reason and God did not want me to have those headphones ahhh cest la vie. . . .

Black and Yellow

2011-02-11T18:13:00.001-08:00

Internet Dating

2011-02-04T06:59:00.000-08:00

Society has changed, technology has changed even we have changed; nobody wants to own pets instead make them and walk them on their Nintendo DS.

Instead of talking to that person on the tube sitting next to you, you're plugged away into you iPod listening to Waka Flockas new single. How are we supposed to find love if heads are buried away in BlackBerrys and iPhones constantly? Exactly how are we supposed to communicate? Make new friends? Get to know other people if these advances are getting in the way? Is it still possible to meet new singles and find dates even if you are the average looking Joe?

Once upon a time when we asked our parents how they met it was usually through a mutual friends gathering, or even by a bus stop. With rapid new changes with social media today we have an advantage to get to know people through different ways via Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, etc.

I asked people about their opinions on dating sites and this is what some said.
‘I’ve actually contemplated joining match.com then I came to my senses and thought to myself, I can’t be that desperate.’-Leah, 19, North London

‘I would never join a dating site it is not my portion, but i think its for when you are desperate, prefer meeting someone natural, i feel that dating sites are quite superficial.’-Ugo, 19, North West London.

When asked I asked the men how they felt about dating sites the replies were:

I think dating sites are for those who are shy and can’t get girls, generally. I’d do it for a laugh cus its funny .-Matthew,18, South London

I think dating sites are for desperate guys, I'd rather meet someone face to face. Sites like Facebook and match.co.uk aren't very different but they both serve different purposes and have different intentions. James, 18, North West

Why do people look down on online dating services such as eHarmony.com or Match.com, when what's being advertised is finding love? Surely that can't be wrong has society now deemed finding happiness as being desperate?

I say take advantage of it, as cliché as it sounds you only live once. Do what makes you happy even if you have to find who makes you happy.

THROWBACK: Jumpsuit

2011-02-03T21:23:00.000-08:00

Last year I made a jumpsuit, designed and created by me. . Some people are unaware that I used to be a part time seamstress. Yes, I sleep, eat, read and poop fashion. Here's a video to prove that.

When Luton goes to Essex

2011-02-03T21:12:00.000-08:00

So me and my other cupcakes went to visit our girl in Essex, Ugo, since she's given our town of Luton a good few visits. Here are some flicks, of us being silly on webcam.

More to come. .

I NEED your help

2011-01-31T10:24:00.000-08:00

So running Simply Oloni may be something you read from time to time, pree or might just even be a guilty pleasure read. What I'd love however is for you to e-mail me. if there is anything you'd like me to talk about for your benefit just e-mail me and I'll write an article about it. . .

itsOloni@gmail.com

Nikki Jean inspiration . .

2011-01-22T17:35:00.000-08:00

I remembered when I first saw this video of one of my role models Nikki Jean. I felt so happy for her, due to her success that she gained by featuring Lupe Fiasco's Album 'The Cool'. . Hopefully one day I will feel this same success when I'm a well known journalist. Yes, I too will buy copies of a magazine and feel the same happiness Nikki did that day.

Ricky Gervais-Golden Globes

2011-01-20T21:54:00.000-08:00

Earlier this week someone asked me about Ricky Gervais, and although his name sounded familiar, I couldn't quite remember. Then I YouTub(ed) him and remembered this asshole. .lol nah i love his stand ups, this opening monologue in particular was funny.

*makes note, husband must have sense of humour as Ricky Gervais, or Dr. Cox from scrubs*

New Looks?

2011-01-20T21:10:00.002-08:00

So, I'm up late at night/early morning and I saw someone post a link to this REALLY cool website no i'm talking 100x of LOL's you can change your hair fix up your make up, really anything, provided you have a picture to alter your looks to.

Have some fun playing with your looks here

http://www.instyle.com/instyle/makeover/

Jessie J

2011-01-20T17:55:00.000-08:00

This girls name has been all over my timeline on twitter and I finally checked out her music and I liked what I heard and saw, a part from the numerous crotch grabbing this video was also great. Are you feeling Jessie J?

KESH

2011-01-20T14:08:00.001-08:00

Can I call him first?

2011-01-16T13:37:00.000-08:00

It’s kind of sad in a world where wars are going on and poverty is still a big problem, the things that worry and go through the minds of some women is if she should call him first or generally call him at the beginning stage of their relationship.

So there’s that cool guy you’ve gone out on a date with, he’s amazing, the conversations are mind blowing, there’s that connection, but what bugs you at the side of your mind when you’re at home ‘should I call him?, nah I don’t want to seem like a loser nor clingy. . I’m the girl he’s supposed to take lead’ you even go to your girlfriend for advice to which she says what you were already thinking.

In this day and age where women split the bills during dates or even worse, pay for THEMSELVES I disagree with the whole ‘he’s the man, he should lead’.

When I was 16 I read a book in my local bookstore, Waterstones called ‘The Complete Book of Rules: Time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr Right’ I was amazed by what I was reading, it seemed like the author wasn’t trying to help you find ‘Mr. Right’ but turn you in to a spinster. Each chapter went into dos and don’ts on dates and outside of dates.

‘Don’t accept Saturday night dates after Tuesday’

‘Never call him first nor stay on the phone longer than 15 minutes’

‘During a date, leave after 45 minutes, don’t tell him why. Just say you have to go’

Not quoted exactly, but from a good memory this is what I remembered.

Yeah, that book was crazy but was designed for crazy women. You shouldn’t let a book nor pride get in the way of a relationship if you genuinely like someone. The foundation of your relationship is friendship, if you were to call any other friend you wouldn’t think twice, what makes him different?

Sometimes overthinking actions can be immature, ‘Should I speak to him first?’, ‘Should I say hi first?’, ‘How long should I wait before I respond to his BBM?’.

What are you saying Oloni? What I’m saying is, I’m a victim of being that girlfriend who always gets asked the silly question of the next move, which isn’t even technically a move. We're in the year of 2011, things have changed, women pay for bills on dates, women also call men first.

For Colored Girls

2011-01-16T12:21:00.000-08:00

Last night before I fell asleep I got a phone call from my friend; she suggested a movie called ‘For Colored Girls’ directed by Tyler Perry and based on Ntozake Shange's play. Without patience as soon as I got off the phone I watched it online. A story about 7 African-American women with colours to represent them as they all face many trials and tribulations this included heart break, death, abortion, promiscuity, rape and many other things us coloured women may come across.

A movie highly suggested by me also to every women out there, although each scenario of the film was huge, I saw it more as a metaphor for the littlest thing that many women go through today. Replacing sex for happiness and confusing the two, only to realise such happiness doesn’t exist for so long. Another was not being strong enough to let what could initially kill you inside go. A living breathing cancer that was not ready to be diagnosed, so instead it stays there till you die.

The film is what you could say inspires female empowerment. My favourite scene was the end where each women described what their love was.

My LOVE is too RARE to have thrown back in my face. .

Loyalty

2011-01-15T11:31:00.000-08:00

It’s really weird when you find out your closest friends know how to be more loyal towards a man or anyone else who means less to someone who’s been through hell and heaven for you. How do you do it?

J. Cole after party x J. Cole in concert @ KOKO

2011-01-14T09:34:00.001-08:00

Now you all know the only thing that makes me breathe is HIP HOP, just a couple of days ago I was blessed to have press passes to go to J. Coles after party and his concert. I did a review on his show click HERE to read.

-----------------concert @ koko-----------------------

------------------after party @ the o2------------------

Dubai '10/'11

2011-01-14T09:11:00.000-08:00

I came back from Dubai over two weeks ago and I had a BLAST. I got on a camel. . swam with dolphins. . drove deep into a dessert, SHOPPED till I literally dropped. I even learnt how to read some Arabic signs.

Better late than mo’ fuckin never. .

2011-01-14T08:53:00.000-08:00

Howdy guys, it’s been ages, but I’m here now. I know I’ve been missed but honestly, I’ve missed you and writing.

#Currently with my girls, Tola, Sami-Mishhy and Ugo chillin in my room. Past couple of days have been one giant slumber party. . I have updates for you so sit friggin tight.

Bye 2010. .

2010-12-28T19:07:00.000-08:00

So, I’m leaving for Dubai in a few hours and just had to come to what has only been faithful to me for the last couple of years. My blog, which has also shown my journey since I was 17. It’s amazing how something you expect to be a fad turns into what you generally enjoy doing, writing. Throughout this year, I’ve had the chance to carry on working with an amazing successful entertainment site. I’m studying a degree in journalism, a subject I enjoy.

This year has been great to me and I can’t complain due to the fact I’m simply grateful for every bit of it, even the ones that have made me upset. I’m not a believer in karma, but I believe everything happens for a reason. I’ve grown to have more women to look up to and want to be like tomorrow. They usually ask who do you inspire to be like in 5 Years? But fuck 5 years, tomorrow I’d like to be as successful as Mara Brock Akil, Julia Allison, Melina Matsoukas, KESH, Vashtie Kola, Nikki Jean and most of all aspire to be more like Shanel Cooper-Sykes.

I’ve had my highs and lows in 2010. Had my heart confused, so instead I never listen to it, but simply use my head. I believe I’ve wised up due to new associates. New associates sometimes change into new friends, friends who teach you about yourself from a different perception of what you were used to.

I’m hoping 2011 will be a much more positive year, especially with my career path I choose to take. I plan on working so much harder and just working to the fullest, networking more and challenging myself. I’ve noticed I have a comfort zone when it comes to writing, it might be a habbit, but I’m going to focus on changing that also.

Resolutions, ah. I do make resolutions but I never share it. I don’t believe in sharing resolutions as I think this should be kept private. Right now my only open resolution I have is working on Oloni as a person.

I have a plane to catch, but I hope you have fun celebrating the NEW YEAR, whatever it is you do, I know I will . .

Love Oloni. . .

Beatbox

2010-12-28T14:58:00.000-08:00

♥

'You learn about two things

2010-12-27T17:32:00.000-08:00

Getting pussy and getting paid'

My Christmas looked like

2010-12-27T12:35:00.000-08:00

This. . . hope you all had a great day. . .

Christmas in Harlem-Kanye West, Teyana Taylor and CyHi Da Prynce

2010-12-20T14:06:00.000-08:00

Is it healthy for me to have this song on replay? . . 10 times. Every year its usually Destiny’s Child 8 days of Christmas I have spinning, but after this leaked track I think things have changed. Apparently this is a leaked track and the final one should have vocals from Cam’Ron, Jim Jones, Pusha T, Big Sean, and Musiq.

I have to say Teyana’s vocals on this track are pretty good. .

'If you like what you see, won't you come sit on my knee. Tell me everything that you want, cus baby I'm your Santa Clause. . .'

Generosity

2010-12-20T13:37:00.000-08:00

'A candle loses nothing by lighting another.'

Snooping on your partner

2010-12-20T09:47:00.000-08:00

They say ‘curiosity killed the cat’, but cats have nine lives. Each life to start over again, an ideology and proverb based upon being too curious about certain things.

My question is, would you snoop on your partner? Some couples today openly go through each other’s phones, social network accounts and e-mails accounts whilst others don’t because of the trust within their relationship. So exactly what does it mean if you do snoop openly or discreetly? Does that mean there‘s a lack of trust? Or the curiosity of what knowledge could be gained.

Studies showed that women were more guilty of going through phones of their partners. Admittedly, I’m part of that statistic. I did go through my ex’s phone but this was done openly. Did I find what I was looking for? No, but what I saw made me distraught. They say if you look for something, you’ll find it. I wasn’t even clear as to what I was looking for, but what I found didn’t help. When I proposed this question and asked people about their thoughts via Twitter and BBM. I was given the same ‘right’ answers.

“nahh never that... They deserve some privacy... That just shows there is trust issues’- Ponle’

I spoke to another friend who said:

“Women are forever trying to find evidence that their partner is playing them. Truth is if their guy has given them the reason to think that in the first place, then they probably are. But girls don’t realise that snooping on their guy will only make the guy more careful. If he knows you’re trying to find something, he’ll make sure you don’t find it” – Julian Dizz.

Thinking about it, does snooping mean you don’t trust who you’re with? My answer, no. It has nothing to do with trusting who you’re with, sometimes women and men can be in relationships whilst others outside it are looking to ‘break it up’ or, you know ‘have their cake and eat it too’. Sometimes it just boils down to plain and simple curiosity or maybe even insecurities?

Random thoughts, about thoughts.

2010-12-19T22:01:00.000-08:00

These last couple of months I've found myself thinking more and talking less. I'm guessing the thinking has been due to the fact my time isn't being consumed by useless conversations.

I've learnt I hate being on the phone. There are only a couple of people I can tolerate over the phone. They say time is luxury, so steal as much as you can. Before I talk to people I've started THINKING does this person deserve my attention? As Shanel Cooper-Sykes would say 'what value are you adding to my life?'

If we talk you're taking my energy, energy I could be using on something useful.
I was always taught to think before I spoke. These last couple of weeks I've been thinking about things in general, thinking about associates, where I want to be in life, who I see myself being affiliated with in 5 years. I've also found myself over analysing situations, over analysing lyrics. . Especially hip hop, that's the beauty of it. You can think about it and ponder.

I love pondering, I enjoy pondering. If I ruled the world everyone would ponder for at least 5 hours a day straight. Can you imagine what knowledge would be grasped if we just meditated?!. . That's how I feel. Random thought.

Purple JustBeats by Dr. Dre

2010-12-03T03:27:00.000-08:00

I knew this kid was good news. Yes, Biebs is now making 20 year-old girls scream his name, after he teamed up with Dr.Dre and made his latest creation PURPLE "JustBeats by Dre" headphones.

Both high quality in ears and on ear headphones are ranged between $150 to $200. So who'd like to buy me a pair? Christmas is approaching quite soon.

Music

2010-11-21T12:28:00.000-08:00

'Dear music lovers, don't confuse pointless wack punch lines with great lyricism'-Oloni

Scarf. . or top?

2010-11-21T12:10:00.001-08:00

Have a scarf ?. . no signature safety pins, thread or needle. . just tie around and tada . . .
We were going out on Thursday and I had absolutely ZIP to wear. . let’s be creative?

Rihanna, we love your stylist

2010-11-14T09:06:00.000-08:00

We all know Rihanna has probably 1 or 10 stylists, but whoever they are we salute you. Her latest video “Only Girl” made me realise I’m in love with wardrobe. If you seriously stare at half the clothes she wears, you’d think she was a fashion designer. Is it safe to call her a fashion mogul? Hmm.

The photo above she has the cutest necklace ever. . haha "fuck you". . nah that shit is dope.

Dont you love the polkadots on this play suit?

Black Gypsy. .

2010-11-13T12:44:00.000-08:00

Hello World! :) I know right before my last post you were probably wondering where I was.

I’ve been bumming around like a black gypsy in Luton. . literally squatting everywhere.

But Oloni you had a place, what happened? Living with the WRONG people happened. I don’t even want to talk about it because; I didn’t think such madness could exist. Making decisions especially on where you want to live takes time. I’ve learnt my lesson. I just want to find a place, I’m tired of eating Chinese every night. . squashing on a bed. . I just miss my space, you know?

‘How did I go from Toni, to living like Lynn?'

Does a guy’s mileage matter?

2010-11-10T13:28:00.000-08:00

“Does a guy’s mileage matter?”

A conversation with the opposite sex lead me to ask this question, after I myself was slightly bothered at the fact that men could sleep with over a certain amount of girls, and not be classed as being promiscuous.

Would you actually be bothered by how many women your current partner had slept with? Why is it not frowned upon when men have a higher mileage compared to women? Such double standards shouldn’t exist, right?

I spoke to different people about the subject in general and as you can imagine EVERYONE pretty much said the same thing. Most women said:

“Who wants a boyfriend who everyone has slept with?”

“If a girl sleeps with the whole football team, then it’s a problem- So if he sleeps with the whole cheerleading team, there should also be a problem, he can fuck off”

A mixture of women and men went on to say that a man could change and how every person has a past:

“Everyone has a past and once you start finding out numbers mistrust sets in and resent and hurt over something that is over and done with. I like my guys experienced as well. So it’s not a major thing to me”

Speaking to a close friend put everything is prospective for me. Yes this is 2010 and as much as were fighting for equality. WOMEN and MEN will never be the same nor equal! If you saw a dog tomorrow that had slept with every other dog in a park, you’d think okay it’s a dog, whatever. It’s what they do. Not all, just some. If you saw a cat doing the same thing you’d think that cat was dirty. It’s the same with men and women in a sense. I’ve always said men are like dogs, it’s just our job as women to find the trained ones.

In a sense a guy’s mileage does matter to me, not just physically but emotionally. I’d like to think I was the only girl he’s had most special moments with, sadly that can’t be the case. You shouldn’t allow yourself to be distracted by what was in the past as you’re his future.

Oloni x Shannon Boodram

2010-10-21T06:07:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I had the pleasure of doing dinner with Shannon Boodram. She’s a Canadian Journalist. You might know her as the author of the book “Laid” or the other half of ThoseWildGirls.com.

We talked, we laughed, swapped stories and laughed some more. It was nice to meet someone who has the same interests as yourself. Her book “Laid” is about young ladies from 18 and upwards, sharing stories on their sex life. I know, I’ll definitely be interested so I have to get my hands on it.

When I heard she was down I had to suggest we go to Nandos. Yes, that infamous London spot.

Cat Deeley goes APE SH*T

2010-10-12T10:03:00.000-07:00

Pretty girls have big mouths too you know. . this is what happens when you piss us off.

Dear good men,

2010-10-10T15:17:00.000-07:00

Dear good men, I apologise on behalf of my gender and the crap they have put you through. It’s hard being the friend of a dumb broad, who makes irrational decisions. There are times when I feel like slapping them myself, when they think a conclusion has been made, but the exact opposite has been gained. Yes, a dilemma. A dilemma in which they brought upon themselves.

There’s that saying of having your cake and eating it, which I thought was an ideology of how most men are within relationships. This was until I came across some women who don’t deserve to have a good man their life. They say a woman needs to love a bad guy to appreciate a good one- That is an utter lie. How can you love something bad when you know what’s good? Doesn’t that just sound unhealthy? Most women are confused and crazy. We say say one thing but mean the other, we put you through things you shouldn’t have to go through. What’s worst is the mythological game playing were taught to play. You know , “treat them mean keep them keen”. No, treat them mean and you’ll just end up alone.

I’ve been with friends who have treated men like clueless rabbits. Men I advise you to treat a girl like a piece of homework, research her and get to know her. No woman is worth that much hassle.

Yours sincerely a tired agony aunt named Oloni.

Agree or Disagree?

2010-10-07T09:14:00.000-07:00

“When men attempt bold gestures, generally it's considered romantic. When women do it, it's often considered desperate or psychotic.” - Carrie

Purple VARSITY LETTERMAN jacket

2010-10-03T09:51:00.000-07:00

I’ve had the biggest craze for varsity jackets ever since I stole my friend Andrews jacket, last year. Admittedly I wanted it and had no intention to give back- but since it was his girlfriend who bought it for him. I had to return it.

3/3/10

Now I’ve been on a hunt for something similar. I’m looking for a purple or grey and black varsity jacket. Here’s some I’ve seen so far.

If you have seen anything feel free to leave the link in a comment box. I'm still browsing so I havent quite found anything i love, just like.

What does your Cardigan say about you?

2010-10-03T09:30:00.000-07:00

Cardigans are a must have and you’re going to need a lot of them during this season, especially if you live in a country like England which is infamous for its indecisive weather. Black, grey and PURPLE, long, short, tight and especially loose, just have enough in your wardrobe to last you through these last couple of months to match most of your outfits.

I’m not much of a cardigan person, I probably own a couple- this is due to the fact I can’t find the ones to suit my personality. However embellished cardigans such as this-

Attracted my attention mainly because of the two colours that played so well of each other and the cute bows added.

I know anything lacey is slowly creeping out of fashion, but I’m still for embracing the material that was a major hit these last couple of years. Here’s a Taupe Lace Front Cardigan I came across.

As you can see it’s not boring, that’s exactly what I mean when I said I found it hard looking for a cardigan that best described me. It needed to be different, especially purple.

MIA-

2010-10-03T06:42:00.000-07:00

This last week, I haven’t been able to blog and not by choice either. I have so much to share. New experiences, new friends, love, fashion and art in this whole week that’s what I’ve been through. I’ve made new friends due to my new habitat and I love it. Sadly I’ve been behind on so much work. I’m currently in my mother’s house, appreciating her internet as the house I have moved into doesn’t have high speed internet. I need to sort that out, I understand. I’m going back to the midlands tonight, so I’m going to try and do as much of everything today.

Oloni's 5 ways to tell if he likes you, likes you.

2010-09-21T04:36:00.000-07:00

Sometimes us as women are confused or even more so, perplexed by signs given as to whether a guy likes you, or if he's trying to get your panties soaked up.

1. How friendly is he? Guys can be friendly but sometimes they get too comfortable, which leads to how I say 'disrespect you' if he's nice but talks to you inappropriately. He's just sniffing for some pie.

2. Does he take interest in the things you do when you're talking? Show interest? Does he make every subject about you?

There was this one guy I knew who liked me and went through most of my lifestyle blogs and articles then came back to me with feedback. A guy being interested into the things you do is a big sign that exclaims “I want to get to know you”

3. How he compliments you. There are ways men compliment, that aren't always obtuse as they seem. If He can complement the way you look without it always being sexual then I'd keep him close.

4. What are the conversations like on I.M's. It’s silly but in this day and age I.M conversations are a big give away to how someone may feel. Are there multiple winks? Let's face it a wink means something. You don't text your mother and add a wink. Even if he's flirting he's still interested. We just need to figure how interested he is.

5. If he drops hints. From time to time women are blind when a guy drops hints so we don't acknowledge the "what are you up to tomorrow" conversation but instead say "visiting my nan". It’s kind of like my Lunch line, "when are we doing Lunch"-Best believe if I ask you this I just might be attracted to you, so you will be available that weekend ;)

Crazy for TUTU's

2010-09-20T18:19:00.000-07:00

As I was writing a feature article my mind procrastinated about the items of clothing one has. I then thought about my new biker jacket that would look so nice with a tutu skirt. Not any old tutu, a feathery pinkish/orangish tutu. For some reason I just desired one.

I started playing with paint and well yeah you can see what happened. .

Move out, move on?

2010-09-18T09:21:00.000-07:00

These past couple of days have been hectic for me. I’ve lost friends made new ones, made closer ones, quit my job and learned new things about myself and others.

I’m getting ready to pack and move out of mother’s house for university this year. I can’t lie I’m quite scared. I hope there’s a fabric shop near where I’ll be living.

Looking for a house for me was very hard. Did you know racism is still alive? Not ignorance actual racism. I found a house which had two bedrooms available and called the land lord to let her know I was interested. She sounded very cheerful and genuine and decided to text the address. After the address she sent another text asking what my ethnicity was. I was perplexed as to what my ethnicity had to do with renting a place but motherrr said I should respond, so I did.

The next day when we went to have a look at houses I called the lady who was asian and asked what the post code was. That’s when she said BOTH rooms had been taken-Bare in mind they were both free yesterday.

My dear friend Molo, decided to call the same lady back asking about the rooms, to which the land lord told her were still available. Molo confronted her through the phone asking why she told the previous caller (Me) that both rooms had been taken when they clearly hadn’t. Then used that famous Ali-G line “is it cus shes black”.

Things happen for a reason. The landlord text me asking if i was still interested. You can only imagine what my text back said :)
I found a place that same day. It’s so me. Its purple, like me.

#Currently doing laundry, much harder than I thought.

"Seperate the dark colours from the lights. When I'm rich, I'm paying someone to do this."-Oloni

I QUIT !- Letter of resignation

2010-09-17T09:56:00.000-07:00

So for the last couple of months, all i've done is tweet about how much i hate my job-Finally i stepped up to the plate to do this.

"17/09/2010

Dear Lynn, a couple of weeks ago you spoke to me about working with a more positive attitude, an attitude you shouldn’t have to ask any employer to work with.

Working here has made me realise if I spent more time working on my true goals like writing rather than working here, I’m confident I’d make just as much money

You deserve an employee who is committed to your business. I’m not able to be such an employee at this time.

Due to what happened a couple of weeks ago with a customer who assaulted me and was racist towards me and was still not yet barred from the shop, this helped me make up my mind that I wish to no longer work under such an environment.

Please accept this as a formal notice of my resignation under constructive dismissal, with effect from today.

Thank you, sincerely Dami "

Please don’t call her sexy. . .

2010-09-15T18:02:00.000-07:00

So these last couple of days I’ve noticed the way most men talk to girls get under my skin. Granted, I’m sure there may be different intentions, but words such as sexy and babe, or telling a girl she’s hot is highly irritating. I thought it was just me untill I spoke to a friend, who said she had the same conversation today with someone else.

Don’t get me wrong in some cases its okay like in the bedroom or if were actually dating. However, If this is the only adjective you’re using to describe a girl you like to her face, most girls such as myself will not take you seriously.

Words such as “beautiful” or “gorgeous” are classy words rarely used anymore. I think most men think it tickles our ears when we hear said words such as “sexy”. You’re wrong, it only tickles the ears of girls who are probably too insecure to know that they have more to offer than looks.

When you do try and compliment a girl, simply think. Do I know her like that to even call her sexy? You see, when I hear the word sexy from someone I don’t even know trying to share a complement, I won’t take you seriously. We won’t take you seriously; chances are you think the girl you’re “complimenting” isn’t a serious chick, but just a “beat”.

Are black women Gold Diggers?

2010-09-13T11:34:00.000-07:00

He has to have a car, have a job, etc- attributes we as women would love our man to have. If he doesn’t have any of this, the time of day will not be given. Does this make us stuck up, conceited or a word men are quick to throw about 'gold diggers’? I asked myself this question when looking at the list or requirements that were thought to make a black woman look like a money grabbing hoe. But isn’t that just it? Preferences! What you go by and what you’d prefer. When was the last time you heard a woman of any colour say “I want a broke boyfriend”. You have your standards and we have ours.

Every woman wants the so called alpha male, a man she’d like be proud of. Maybe, most men are too focused on the money he thinks he has to have that they forget about the ambition, determination and goals we as women also want. A man could spoil you, but without aspirations, you’re worthless. Black women want a provider someone who can bring something to a table, not a loser who’s waiting for his job seekers allowance to come through.

Beats By Dre HEADPHONES

2010-09-08T15:31:00.001-07:00

By me a pair of purple beats by dre headphones and I'll be your best friend.

Hip-Hop

2010-09-04T17:57:00.000-07:00

"It's scary growing
up being raised by hip-hop"

Aspire to Inspire before you Expire

2010-09-04T17:18:00.000-07:00

I started a blog post the other day, but instead decided to leave that for editing on my blackberry memo #NoDrake. I will come back to it however today I felt so inspired to share, yes SHARE! I have this thing where every time I’m inspired I have to share what my inspiration is, no matter how big or small. It’s like being at church and giving a testimony, you just want to tell the congregation about the miracle that happened in your life. My Simply Oloni readers are my congregation and I will share my testimony.

Every weekend I get up, get ready and go to work like most 20-Year-Olds. Yes I do some freelance written work here and there but my main income comes from my 10-16 hours shift from my local Co-operative, where I work. Anyone who follows me on twitter knows how much I moan about my work and the customers I’m surrounded by and their pessimistic and depressing attitudes. But that’s where it hit me; I’m going to work so hard to be all I can be. I refuse for this to be my future. Working in that hell hole was my inspiration of today! I looked at a colleague of mine today who was in her mid 30’s and I know this wasn’t a life she wanted to live, her problem? She refused to do something about it.

I was watching a documentary today with one of the smartest and wisest celebrities who passed away, Lisa Left Eye Lopes. She said in the VH1 documentary "Was I surprised to be a hip-hop star? No, I had high expectations for myself" -My message? Be limitless set goals, high boundaries let everyday be an inspiration. They say "Limitations breed creativity” so I try hard to find motivation on a daily basis, even if it’s from friends, known people in the field you hope to further your career in. i.e Julia Allison ha ! Get my point? Have something that reminds you of what your purpose in life is.

My most cherished DM from Julia !

“My name is Damilola Olonisakin and my life holds no limitations I’m here to write that slogan you’ll never forget laugh at that column you read, have you Google and re watch that interview I once gave. . and not because of the artist because of me !. . write that article that made you think . . have you see fashion and style in a different light other than just names and labels . . " and so much more. . .

I could go on and on, but I’m not trying to preach I just felt like reminding. My friend hit me up on my phone today and she asked if she could borrow my University personal statement I wrote to help guide her. I didn’t think it even existed anymore but luckily I found it as I read it, a smile gazed upon my face and I thought, fuck I wrote this? Hmm not bad. Admittedly you had to babble throughout and sell yourself and I didn’t do so badly. Here’s ¾ of it

“Media is all around me and has always been. I've never limited myself under one role and have always wanted to be that writer, editor, music columnist, radio presenter, reporter and TV presenter. Media is a way of my personal lifestyle, it's a part of who I am and I'd like to be given the chance to be a part of it. I feel so inspired to carry on with it onto higher education and turn it into a career. I'd like to study Journalism at university simply due to the fact I have always been interested and adored that side of media. Media has always been something I have always loved; I found my personal and social life includes a lot of media.

I generally enjoy writing, talking, researching and sharing my keen interests with others within my spare time. I write a column for Bloginity.com covering articles on gossip and fashion. I'm a co-author for a well known HIP-HOP blog called Lup-END it has been affiliated with the likes of Lupe Fiasco and Kanye West. I have written articles on the blog and have been a part of it since early 2008. As well as writing for Lupe Fiasco I write for my own personal blog. This includes photos shot by me and poetry I write, fashion updates and daily blog post entries. It also includes blog posts on women who inspire me within media. Other sort of media which has been involved within my social life includes my YouTube channel I started early 2009 co-hosted with a friend discussing public media issues. Another is working for Warner music, Atlantic street team. The reason for joining this street team was to promote artists I like and to support their music. The main reason I joined was to network with people within the media industry. I believe my biggest social strength is networking and hope in the future it will help me. In October 2009 I went to a radio workshop hosted by Choice FM. I attended this workshop for radio and podcasting experience. My biggest inspiration is my favourite radio station LBC.

Ever since I started listening to it I've always been ambitious and motivated to gain a way on working on there and still believe with even more determination it can happen. I've been inspired by my favourite radio presenter Jenny Francis a late night Choice FM radio presenter. She inspired me from a tender age and still does. Someone else whom inspires me is Vashtie Kola, she went from nothing to something. She moved me to make sure I become something and achieve the success I know I deserve. Maya Angelou and Malorie Blackman are my favourite writers I enjoy Malorie Blackman's novels and find myself reading her book over and over again because of the way she writes and captures my attention. Maya Angelou as well as "Def Jam" poetry inspired me to write and put feelings I have towards paper. “

Reading this also inspired me- This would be a perfect time to play drakes successful song but hey my life has a purpose, does yours?

FETRINITE -by KESH

2010-09-02T17:42:00.000-07:00

I've always been in love with KESH's illustrations from a tender age, seeing her latest piece 'FETRINITE' brought back memories as to how and why I fell in love with her.

http://www.fetrinite.com/

Carnival 2010

2010-09-01T11:30:00.000-07:00

Owww Happy bank holiday week ! If that exists! I had the funniest bank holiday ever. . I went to the carnival with my friends Wasabi, Jose’ and Leesh. . it looked like this. .

Pac man ring

2010-08-27T21:20:00.001-07:00

Tell me this isnt dope. Haha.

Embellished tops

2010-08-27T20:59:00.000-07:00

Embellished tops are a safe pick this season if I told you how many I owned we’d be here forever. Here’s a grey one Cheryl Cole wore.

They’re one of a kind tops and come in different styles. Here are a couple I found. The great things about these tops are indeed that they’re very casual, who doesn’t love casual? I know I do. Embellished tops are something that doesn’t need to be thought about too long. It’s a quick skinny jeans heels and top. I find myself taking very long to pick a quick outfit for a normal day out with the girls. It’s not over dressing but you know you look great, this is due to the main attraction of the top. Some outfits only need one accessory before it’s actually complete- This could be a pair of shoes, belt, scarf, jewellery to sunglasses. Practically anything but you never want to over do especially when it’s a simple outfit.

It’s a shame the sun is going little by little, but with what’s left embellished tops followed by a lovely boyfriend jacket would be safe to wear with the ever changing weather we do have now.

Amerie why are you my Obsession ?

2010-08-27T15:45:00.000-07:00

Gorgeous right? I know! For some strange reason I suddenly have an obsession with Amerie. I’ve been playing this song over. I don’t know if it’s because I feel the lyrics to the song, or because I love Ray Kays production for this video. Or maybe the fact she half black and half Korean like me and has absolutely gorgeous legs!

What I also love about Amerie? The way she dresses. She doesn’t seem confused and doesn’t try to fit it in. Yes it’s ordinary but it works for her. This video maybe old but there’s a furry, feathery, sleeveless jacket she wears in this video. That I have to have, I need to pop into a material store or a charity shop and find something similar, vintage maybe? Hmm.

Heres the video.-

Jeans and Sequin Jackets

2010-08-27T10:53:00.000-07:00

It’s getting to that time of year again, and of course wardrobes needs to be changed and re organised, tanks tops need to be traded with long sleeved tops and Jersey shorts need to be replaced with preferably dark blue skinny jeans or cotton tights and knee high boots.

Womens jeans are always a hassle so it’s always best to go for something that can play off a real woman body. E.g Super stretchy skinny jeans as they define your shape and stay fitted. No, not jeggings stretchy skinny jeans.

Denim is still probably this year’s most worn
garment so play with the colours not just blue.

Jeans are always a good look but before you think about getting that cream or black mac
jacket how about you put that on hold and try something different.
Like a biker jacket or even better, instead of the occasional sequin dress a sequin jacket like this below.

Here is a really nice one that would go really well
with the stretchy jeans shown above.
Although the jeans are simple this
Sequin Wonderland Jacket balances everything out.

10 things I want to say to a Black woman- Joshua Bennett

2010-08-26T08:14:00.000-07:00

Some afternoon positivity- I loved this poem so I just had to share.

Heres a quick transcript-

1.The way to a black man's stomach is not through food but through the heaven in your hello

2. When I was born my mother's smile was so bright it knocked the air from my lungs and I haven't been able to breathe right since. It's something about the way light dances off your teeth.

3. "Turn bastards into kings","Turn a fatherless Christmas into a floor full of gifts and a kitchen that smells like the Lord is coming tomorrow".

4. "My sister was a blacksmith who bent fire & metal into kitchen miracles at age 14, making enough food to feed a black boy who didn't have the words to say how much she meant to him back then". "Your skin represents every thing of beauty I've ever known."

5. "I've watched you be crucified too. Spread out on billboards to be spiritually impaled by millions of men with eyes like nails. So I'm sorry for the music videos, Justin Timberlake at the Superbowl, and the young man on the corner this morning who made you wanna shed your flesh and become invisible."
7. "You are like a sunrise in a war torn country. "You remind me that there is always something worth waking up to."

8. When we're married I will cook and do dishes and whatever it takes to let you know that traditional gender roles have no place in the home we build.

9. "My daughter will know her father's face from the day she is born"

10. "Never stop pushing. This world needs you now more than ever."