Monday, 11 November 2013

#DearOloni University & Men

Hi, 
I like your blog and I like your words they're really good, I was wondering whether you could do a blog post or maybe just reply with some advice. 
I'm third year student at uni and I haven't had the typical university experience (NO CLUBBING, NO BF'S NO, I DIDN'T EVEN JOIN ACS MUCH) I wanted to do all these things but because my course is hard and I have to focus I don't have time plus I didn't move out. Don't get me wrong I have friends and we chill but most of the time I'm just focused watching university friends have fun sigh. 
ALSO I started talking to this guy last year it was nice we both didn't want relationship but company I guess (we weren't even friends with benefits) after a year of talking we were chill but like he says he's not ready to date and if he was ready he would date but a week late he's in a relationship. It's kind of annoying and upsetting I'm happy he's happy don't get me wrong I DIDN'T REALLY want to be in a relationship I guess I'm going to miss the company. I'm a 21 year old virgin and never really had a boyfriend but yeah...what your opinion on university working hard and guys? 
I assumed I would meet my husband at uni haha 3rd year and NOTHING, I KNOW, HARD WORK is better and I do enjoy uni. I understand that I should just work really hard because life is too short...and I need that 2:1 haha.
But i don't know just wanted to hear your words..on university, guys and feeling lonely.
(I would like to remain anonymous, but don't mind if you incorporate the story into a future blog post)
Best wishes,
a girl.

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Hey! Thank you for e-mailing me.
You've done absolutely nothing wrong but go to university and get your degree. Do you know how many people get blinded once they've hit the uni scene? They forget what they worked hard for, why they've left their parents house and what the sole purpose of university is.
I think your situation falls under 'wanting/having it all'- You're just about to finish your last year at uni and if I'm honest finding 'the one' shouldn't be on your mind. If it happens, then kudos! But if you're striving for that 2:1 then let that be the only thing on your mind, if I'm honest, don't go looking for what isn't there.
You still have time to socialise with friends once you're done with higher education. You still have jobs to apply for where you could potentially meet the one, do you know how big our city is? Do you know how many network/social events take place every month where you could meet a lot of great new people? Take ADVANTAGE of that!
As great and big as university is, I learnt after a while that I saw the same faces over and over and over again. . so I don't blame you if you feel like you never/couldn't meet anyone. 
Being in a relationship won't necessarily stop you from being lonely, I feel like by keeping yourself busy you fill in that missing hole. As soon as you hand in your last assignment, go out more, try different places to meet new people etc.
Just carry on working hard and everything will fall into place, promise.

Oloni

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If you have any dilemmas you'd like to e-mail me, do so with the subject line as #DearOloni to itsOloni@gmail.com